Adventure is Out There

April 20, 2015

Walking through Nyambadwe with our plastic bag and chitenje for protection. 

Ian Mafuleka, our eternal investigator. He is like my Malawian grandpa (agogo amuna). I can't wait to see him in the celestial kingdom.

Carrying maize on our heads.

Visiting the Elder's recent convert and her two kids. She is my age and has two kids. Mind blown.

.On the top of the hill. Be still my soul.

Hiking down. That mountain in the distance is Ndirande mountain.

The sun rising on our hike this morning.

Evance may not speak any English but he is sure sweet and so proud of his coloring.

Crossing the rickety bridge in our area.  

Darling Family,

It was a week full of adventures and so many times where I could have been disappointed or frustrated I just laughed. That is one of the greatest lessons I am learning lately. Laughing makes every situation so much better.

Breaking news: My Mozambiquano companion from November is ENGAGED. Yep. That is strange. And exciting of course. But we were just walking around Blantyre together and now she's almost married. What?

We had interviews with President Erickson this week and since it has only been a few weeks since the last interviews we just had a really good chat. He made it clear, not only to me but to my companion, my district leader, and even the branch president that Sister Dlamini and I will be split up very soon. I don't know whether it will be this week or May 12th (transfers are a bit unpredictable in this mission) but I am anxious for the call this week. Everyone thinks I am going to Zambia so I am preparing my heart to be happy either way. I love Ndirande so, so much and I would be happy to stay but President told me that I am needed in other places in the mission. I'll go where God wants me to go. So next week I might be off to another place or with a new comp. We shall see. President told me since the last time we met I seem more settled within myself and I think that is true. He talked about the perspective in which we view our trials. We can either think that God is punishing us and laughing at us in our troubles or we can see them from the viewpoint that He desires to bless us and raise us higher. I love President Erickson. I feel privileged to serve under him.

Well, we definitely thought rainy season was over but it came back in a big way this week. The rain caught us completely unprepared so many times and we were subsequently drenched. One day we were trying to find this guy we contacted on the bus in Nyambadwe. We had never been that deep into the neighborhood so we sort of just went for it thinking it wouldn't be too far. Well, we walked forever and even found Mr. President's house (President of Malawi). When we finally found his house, he ended up being a Jehovah's Witness which was just slightly awkward. Then he had some work to do so we had to wait for a while (we weren't about to turn back after walking all that way). When we finally began to teach they were cutting down a tree outside. Basically every little detail was totally not ideal but instead of getting frustrated we just laughed. It poured on us our whole walk and all we had was a plactic bag and a chitenje to cover us but it was just so fun. I love being companions with Sister Dlamini. We are cherishing every last moment we have together.

One of my favorite moments of the week was helping Weekly to pray. He is still progressing amazingly for his baptism on May 3rd but he has been feeling like no answers have been coming. So we knelt down in his small house and prayed together. He gave a very nice prayer but didn't ask any specific questions. I still felt the Spirit but when we got up he said he felt nothing. We discussed this recently at MLC about having no fear to just ask them to pray again so Sister Dlamini and I looked at each other and asked him to pray again. This time we quieted the children playing outside, closed the door, and reminded him again to ask specific questions to his Heavenly Father. After the prayer we just stayed on our knees in silence for a few minutes and when we finally got up you could tell in his voice and eyes he had been touched. ALSO, he went to a YSA activity in the branch and bore his testimony to all of the YSA. I love seeing people change and bud in the gospel.

That lesson with Weekly took longer than planned because it was raining like crazy and you can't really hear each other when rain is pelting the metal roof so we decided to take a short cut to get to the meeting house for a young women activity we planned. The short cut involved a crossing a river that runs through our area and when we arrived to the river edge it was much higher than normal. All the stepping stones were still exposed except one so I decided to take my shoes off so they wouldn't get too wet. When I took my shoes off, a shoe insert fell out into the water and I was left staring into the water hoping it would come back up. The onlookers all assumed since I was in the middle of the river on a rock staring down that I was scared so they all began speaking in Chichewa trying to help me across. I guess if you drop your car keys into hot lava, don't bother. They're done for. The same principle applies to a shoe insert falling into a river in Blantyre. We safely made it across but we were soaked and when we finally made it to the meeting house no one showed up to the activity. We just laughed. Oh, life. Too many adventures.

Susan (the member we work with a lot) was going to the maize mill on Friday but we needed her for a few lessons so we promised we would help her on Saturday if she would come with us on Friday. On Saturday we took her baskets/bags of maize a few hundred meters to the maize mill and we got to help her grind it and sift it. It's fun to experience culture so first hand. Then, once again, it started pouring rain unexpectedly and we ran through the rain and muddy roads with maize on our heads. 

We finally got a new branch presidency! It was so exciting to see these men called. Our new branch presidency is made up of Brother Amos (president) who was baptized just last year, Brother Wisiki (1st councilor) who comes to teach with us a lot, and Brother Duwa (2nd councilor) who is a young RM that recently had his first baby. I love how the Lord calls people in their vulnerability and weakness and raises them higher. President Matale could hardly hold back his emotions. Ndirande branch is like his baby. I will missing being able to work with President Matale so closely, though he is still in the district presidency so we will still see him around.

This morning we got up early and climbed a tall hill we live next to. We didn't really know how popular this hill is for praying but as we hiked we passed prayer groups singing and many people praying aloud. People get pretty intense about their prayers here ie yelling/speaking in tongues (basically gibberish), slamming rocks together, shaking, etc. It was sort of an interesting metaphor to pass all of these people so desperately trying to connect to deity and ascend above them all to the very top where there was the most light and the greatest view. We did our hour of personal study on the top of the hill where we could see all of Blantyre and the road to Lilongwe and as I prayed to know the Lord's will for me the Spirit said, "To be here now--this is My will for you." My first thought was that I was in the right place being a missionary here in Malawi but as I thought further I realized that it also encompassed our whole journey up the hill. The Lord wants me to live above the noise--above the world. He wants me to seek His light which is higher and takes a bit more effort to reach. He wants me to make the temple a priority and seek revelation there. It was a heart-changing study/hike.

I love being a missionary. I love laughing at the hard times and finding the joy in all things. I love testifying of Christ every day and I love finding those that are prepared. I am the most blessed child on the planet.

Have a wonderful week.

Love forever,

Sister Proctor

Shake the Dust

April 13, 2015

Sister Zohner and I are spider ninjas....or just super strange children.

Sister Griffus, Sister Merrill and me watching the women's session.

Ma seestas watching the women's session.

Darling Family,

The seasons are changing and it's strange to see Malawi come full circle to the season I arrived here in. I have been in Ndirande to see fields plowed, maize planted, grow taller than me, harvested, die, and be cleared. Now the weather is becoming colder and I couldn't be more grateful. We are eating maize and pumpkin and squash so basically my mind is stuck in October now. Is it really April?

My dear friend, Ariana Grundvig, sent her last email from the mission field last week entitled "What I Learned from 'Cutting Vegetables'". Basically she related what she learned on her mission to how many different ways her companions have cut vegetables in the last 18 months and I totally related because everyone cuts their vegetables differently (shout out to Sister Orr for her patience in the kitchen ;)). But besides that, it made me reflect upon the time I have spent here and what more I want to do before I go home. I feel like I just barely dropped Ariana at the curb at the MTC and now she is home. I guess this whole week has been one of refreshment and renewal--a reconsecration to the work.

I experienced two of some of my favorite lessons on my mission this week:

1. We taught that high roller in Nyambadwe again and I literally had to hold back my giggles. When someone just totally gets it and they see the importance of what you teach you can't help but want to do a victory dance when you close the gate behind you. We taught him about the priesthood keys given to Peter and how that is the foundation of Christ's church and he said, "Well that means Peter must have passed the keys to someone which means one man on this earth holds the keys. Who is it?" When we explained further he said, "This is big news. This means war!" in the least contentious way possible. Basically he realized that there must be one true church and he is super intelligent and I am pumped to see him progress.

2. We taught Katie again, and she told us that she had received so many answers to prayers and she knows that what we teach is true. The sweetest part of the lesson was when she told us she had a dream that she was in the temple and a white lady was showing her around. Sister Dlamini and I were both in tears. Her only stumbling block is her calling in her church. I love Katie so much.

It's also just amazing how effortlessly people progress when they are prepared. I have been spending so many weeks and months doing everything I can to get people to keep commitments and come to church and no one has budged. Now we are teaching Weekly and he is so golden. He came to church even before we taught him and he keeps every commitment. I just pray that I will not be transferred before his baptism (May 3rd). My most fervent prayer lately is for peace to accept God's will but I hope His will is for me to stay. This branch has become my home. Oh, how much joy I find when I gather with these Saints.

Some little details about this week/life that make me happy:

-We had no where to go so we prayed and a few knocks later we met a relative to Agnes who had so many genuine questions about the church

-We knocked at the gate and was invited into the house of the former mayor of Blantyre. Big madala status.

-We helped an investigator draw water meaning walking with buckets of water on our heads. Good times. 

-It's starting to get dark earlier and we aren't used to it so the darkness sort of takes us by surprise. We go all "I Am Legend" status when the darkness comes. GET INSIDE!

-As you see from the pictures, Sister Zohner and I determined enough was enough and become spider killers with the Doom and a broom. We had a colony of like 20 spiders living on our porch so we killed them all. Conquering my fears!

-We got together as sisters and watched the general women's session of general conference and it was just lovely. We belong to the coolest church ever. I cried happy tears.

-President Matale told us that Blantyre is one branch split away from becoming a stake. Also, they are looking for land to build a chapel in Ndirande! Seeing the work progress in Malawi is so exciting.

-I got a new nickname in my area. The kids always call me by a previous sister's name and when I correct them they can't pronounce Proctor. Now they call me "Sister Zungu" (sister white person). Yebo!

-Alinafe (my favorite RC ever) texted us twice this week. One to inform us that he had gone by himself to do his family history at the chapel and the other to tell us he was going to attend the other branch this Sunday because he invited two guys in the market to church and he wanted to fellowship his investigators. This guy is on fire.

-We saw an ice cream truck in our area. Say what? Those exist in Africa? More like, those exist in Ndirande? The kids went wild.

-I think the happiest is that the other week we passed this deaf guy on our way home. We had passed them two or three times before and he was so sweet. After he passed, I felt strongly that we needed to contact him so we literally ran after him (since he is deaf and he couldn't hear us calling after him). He understands English really well he just can't speak or hear so we gave him a pamphlet and wrote down directions to the church. Yesterday he showed up to church with his other deaf friend and I nearly cried. He has such a light about him, I can't even describe. Unfortunately, he lives in the Elder's area (we give the Elders so many referrals it's ridiculous), but they are totally prepared. 

I studied the principle of unity this week and I realized just how critical unity is to salvation and to building Zion. The Lord promises that all who the Father gives Him He will not lose. "Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost," (D&C 50: 41-42). But then He tells us that, "if ye are not one ye are not mine," (D&C 38:27). We must be filled with charity and consecrate our whole lives to serve Him and the people around us or we will not be welcomed into Zion. But Zion is attainable and it seems like a pretty wonderful place to be.

Shake the dust, my friends. Shake the dust from your souls and remember just how blessed we are to be alive. Life is beautiful.

Love forever,

Sister Proctor

Life is What You Make It

April 6, 2015

The RS sisters singing to cheer on the workers at our service.

Planning in the dark.

Our smokey, sad attempt to brai. Good times.

The big bwana we found while contacting. The tiny spider next to it is rather large by itself and then you see this huge creature the size of my hand. My skin is crawling.

Darling Family,

It was another wonderful, soul-stretching week in Ndirande. Many things I counted on happening didn't happen which was sad but the Lord is blessing me with a greater understanding and a broader perspective.

One of the things I studied this week was perfection. Sometimes it blows my mind to think that the Savior was perfect in the mortal state and that perfection is also our goal. It's sort of overwhelming to think about. But it D&C 93 it tells us that even the Savior grew grace to grace until he received of the fulness of the Father's glory. In Jesus The Christ it talks about relative perfection and how we can be perfect within our own spheres. In D&C 88:25 it says that the earth with gain celestial glory because it fills the measure of its creation. The Spirit opened up to my mind that the Lord doesn't expect us to attain His level of perfection in this life but He does expect us to fill the measure of our creation. I have been given a different mission than any of you. To be perfect in my sphere I need to fulfill my specific mission. The Savior showed us an example by perfectly doing all the Father sent Him to earth to do. Even in His perfected, glorified state the prints of the nails in His hands and feet remained because that was how He filled His measure of creation.

This big bwana (boss) who lives in Nyambadwe has come to church a couple of times on his own and we were finally able to teach him this week. Since we can't teach a man without a woman there, we brought sweet Sister Chinomwe who comes from a very humble background. It was sort of embarrassing how much he was talking about his travel experience and how he hopes his children never come back to Malawi from the US because there is nothing to offer them here. Sometimes it is so strange that our area covers the richest of the rich in Malawi (Mr. President has a house in Nyambadwe) and the poorest of the poor. The contrast is funny. 

But speaking of big bwanas in Nyambadwe, a ton of HUGE spiders have suddenly moved into Nyambadwe. I wish I could capture how large they are in a picture but we always joke about them because they make huge webs too. They know where the high rollers stay.

We did a branch service and it was so happy. With all of the rains, so many houses/walls have fallen so we went to a member's house and helped her rebuild part of her house. There were too many people and not enough work so the Relief Society sisters sort of just sang hymns to cheer on the workers. It was definitely a branch bonding experience. I love Ndirande branch with all my heart. These people are so full of light.

The APs called on April 1st (April Fool's day) to tell us that the in-person MLC in Lusaka was cancelled. The ZLs had already pranked us so we really wanted to believe it was a prank but alas, the APs were true. After a really long day and being so excited for this celestial council next week, it was sort of a blow. But after thinking it through, I realized it was such a big blow because it was like the one thing I had to look forward to. I realized that was the wrong way to think. These past three months since the last in-person MLC have been the most challenging of my entire mission. It's been work, work, work and not a whole lot to get my mind off of my struggling area. I consider myself to be a pretty happy person but I guess I have sort of forgotten to have fun. The biggest lesson in all of this is that not only is happiness a choice but fun is a choice!

That being said, one night we came home to a house with no electricity or running water. It wasn't too disappointing since that is pretty much a norm here but we decided to attempt a brai on our back porch since we were all starving and we had a random bag of charcoal in our pantry. We had no stove or brai stand but we put a few pots together and the four of us in the dark tried to light these coals. It was such a joke and we couldn't stop laughing. We were determined because we were too hungry to quit. After a meager attempt, the sausage was sort of cooking but all of the grease put out the coals before it was wholey cooked. After an hour and a half of singing camp fire songs and choking on smoke and gazing at the stars, the lights turned on and we just sat there totally defeated but having had a good time. 

We have two progressing investigators that are pretty exciting. One is Weekly, who came to church with his mom yesterday despite the water issues that deterred many of the members. He is excited about the gospel and it makes me giddy. And then there is Evance who is the 10-year-old-son of a less active. He speaks zero English but he also is excited about learning. We have to teach a principle at a time and repeat over and over again but he is slowly coming out of his shell. He can't even write his own name but even when his father doesn't come to church he and his tiny 7 and 3 year old siblings come alone.

Alinafe, our amazing recent convert, told us about a dream he had. He is already preparing to serve a mission and he had a dream he received his first companion. He said that he felt so much happiness but also felt the sadness and the loneliness and the disappointment that missionaries sometimes feel. He was so sincere as he looked at us and said, "Now I understand what you go through. Sisters, you are doing a great job." My heart exploded. He is the best RC ever. 

I feel like my emails are kind of long but hey, I love writing so what can I do. But I just wish I could express to you how amazing and hard and wonderful this experience is. I love Ndirande Branch with all my heart. I was sitting in a meeting with the stand-in branch president and the four of us missionaries and we were reporting and planning together and the excitement in that room was tangible. President Matale is truly consecrated. He follows up and everything we do and when we ask him to do something he does it. He is always in the area visiting families and reaching out and the branch has grown so much since I first arrived. It means so much to be in a branch where people love and help each other. The Relief Society goes out on Sundays and during the week to visit sick sisters and less actives. I LOVE these people. I got up to bear my testimony yesterday and I could hardly handle the love I felt--not only of myself but the love the Lord has for them, too.

In other news, we got contacted by a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses. It's always a good time.

Have a wonderful week. Do something to make the Lord happy!

Love,

Sister Proctor

The Hearts of the Children

I'm sorry. I had to take the traditional 9 month picture. I made it to humpday!

Saying goodbye to my dear friend Elder Mwangi. Hopefully I'll see him at BYU.

Posing with the two deacons in the branch who brought all of their friends to church. We call them "the guys". Shout out to my nephew who was just ordained a deacon!

The fantasitc four of Ndirande being separated by transfers. We will miss Elder Cunningham!

March 30, 2015

Darling Family,

Well, we may still struggle with water (yes, still--since January) and I may still take bucket showers at least a couple times a week but life is swell in Blantyre. I still love being a missionary with all my heart no matter the weather.

We got transfer news this week and thankfully Sister Dlamini and I get to stay together in Ndirande for at least another month until more missionaries go home. Sadly, my good friend, Elder Mwangi (Kenya) is going to Lusaka to be an office Elder and Elder Cunningham (Arizona) is leaving the Ndirande branch. I will miss them too much. Elder Mwangi and I have served 9 months together--he was my zone leader in Lilongwe and then we were transferred to Blantyre together and he's been my zone leader here. Too many good times. 

I had the opportunity to teach at our district meeting on Tuesday and I was given the topic of contacting and referrals. As I prepared the Spirit directed me away from the hard "how to" and helped me to see what we are really doing as missionaries. My testimony of my calling has definitely deepened. This is more than just a job. In fact, if we think of it as a job then we are going to fail. This is life--this is life eternal. We are inviting people to come to Zion. When I think of Zion, I think of the most beautiful place on earth with Jesus Christ by my side. As missionaries we are not just convincing people to be baptized or join a church but we are inviting them to step up out of the grunge of mortality into His joyous rest. I tried to paint a picture for the district but mostly the Spirit just took over and each person's demeanor was different when they walked out of the meeting house. What a blessing it is to invite people to His rest and His loving arms.

We visited Sister Kuwali again. It was on a morning when I was a bit irritated but she never fails to melt my heart. We can barely understand each other but we had made cookies for a meeting later in the day so we shared one with her. She promptly took it and put it in a small pot to share with her husband when he got home. What love and generosity. They literally have nothing. We obviously had to give her another cookie. They were so small and yet she didn't even think twice to split that meager offering with her husband. 

One of our less actives has a nephew called Weekly who has shown a lot of interest in the Church. This week we taught him a couple of times and he even accepted a baptismal date. The best is to see members fellowshipping. We brought one of the Elder's recent converts and he was just so good to Weekly. 

On a sad note, Jessie, the girl we met last week that just had a baby, is sort of playing games. We went to her house to teach her and we found her sitting on the porch and she said she was a little "beezi" (though she clearly wasn't) and to come back another day. I love writing about all the little miracles that happen each week but sometimes it's sad to see that between each Monday that those people that were so exciting one week turn and close the door the next. I am learning to accept, embrace, and love the fact that I am a little sower in Ndirande and some day the fruits will be reaped.

By far the highlight of the week was our investigator called Katie. As we were planning for her one night the Spirit let us know that we should teach her about family history and temples. At that point we had only taught her twice so it sort of seemed risky but of course we followed the Spirit anyway. Even when we arrived and opened with a prayer, I was still unsure about it but we went for it anyway and it was such a sweet lesson. Before we dove into family history we asked her to tell us about her family and she simply said, "Well, my parents are both dead and my only sister also died." What? My heart simultaneously broke and took courage, knowing we were in the right place at the right time teaching the right thing. Her heart was completely melted as we taught her about family history and she was visibly excited to learn about its importance. She walked with us for a while after the lesson and told me that her father died before she was born so she doesn't know anything about that side of the family. She feels like now is the time to find out. It was so special.

Then, on Sunday we went to a nearby school to wait for her and walk with her to church (her first time). Time was ticking and she wasn't showing up. We finally called and she told us she was already at church! She LOVED church. She even stayed for the baptism after and sang along to every song she didn't even know. As we escorted her (that is a Malawian thing) after church she told us that she loved church and she especially loved that people were encouraged to participate and ask questions. I haven't had an investigator LOVE church in a long time so it was exciting and encouraging. The only sad thing was that we taught her again this morning and when we invited her to a baptism (again) she said no. When I asked if she had a desire she also said no. That sort of crushed my little heart but we won't give up. She has too many family members on the other side rooting for her to accept the gospel.

On Saturday, the branch attempted to have a "Why I Believe" fireside like the ones we used to have in Virginia. I say "attempted" because after a couple of weeks of no rain in Ndirande it poured right when the fireside was supposed to start. The Elder and us just stared out into the rain and said silent prayers that people would still come. Malawians are sort of deathly afraid of rain. If it rains then no one goes out. Finally the rain ceased and a few faithful members showed up (sadly, without nonmember friends). But it was still a lovely time of sharing testimonies and playing some scripture games. At least we strengthened the members' conviction to dig deeper into the gospel. Though it can be difficult, I love being a pioneer. 

Something I studied this week was the vision of the tree of life. The more I read those chapters in 1 Nephi, the more I understand about Jesus Christ. Something that stuck out to me this time was how the angel asked Nephi "Knowest thou the condescension on God?" and then later says, "Behold the condescension of God." After the first question, the angel shows Nephi the birth of the Savior. After the second statement, the angel shows Nephi the baptism of the Savior. My soul rejoiced to think that someone would love me so much as do descend below all to save my little, imperfect, weakness-ridden self. My gratitude for Jesus Christ deepens daily and I am so excited to have a day to remember Him and His resurrection.

Well, that's all for now kids. Enjoy watching conference live while I wait four more weeks! I wouldn't want to wait anywhere else but here.

Love,

Sister Proctor

Zikuyenda? Pongono, Pongono

We even have green jello in Ndirande. Love these women.

This is sort of an awkward picture but here's our wonderful Relief (that's what they call Relief Society here).

I may have zero investigators coming to church but at least I have the most faithful recent convert the world has ever seen. I can't wait for him to put a tag on for real. Elder Mkandawire would be a nice name. Alinafe is the best.

We had a goodbye party for the Reynolds who are going home today. I will never forget Papa Rey teaching me how to drive stick and Mama Rey teaching me how to make bread. Love these people and my zone.

I woke up a bit early to peacefully write in bed this morning and I looked over to find this friend right next to my face. What a nice way to wake up!

Darling Family,

Something I have studied this week is diligence. As I labor day in and day out and I don't find a whole lot of quantifiable success, I have learned that diligence means consistently doing your best. It doesn't mean being a super hero everyday, just plugging away, one day at a time. We have become friends with our guards and every evening when we walk in they know I'll say, "Zikuyenda?" I can't really translate it exactly but it's like, "How's it going?" One guard never fails to reply, "Pongono, pongono," which means, "little by little". I guess I learn by repetition because now I see how true it is. Pongono, pongono I am doing the work of the Lord. Diligence is key.

I wish I could report that things have completely turned around but mission in Blantyre continues to require steady diligence. One morning I woke up and decided out loud, "Today is going to be the best day of my whole mission!" I think Heavenly Father has quite the sense of humor because it ended up being one of the worst. I laughed and cried as I prayed that night. I laid on my bed and listened to Jeff Holland and all was well but this mission thing is not easy. I am grateful for the opportunity that I have to grow everyday. 

I am also sincerely grateful for a companion who is patient and loving. Sister Dlamini is very meek and mild and takes challenges in her wake. She nearly always has the perspective that if we are doing our best and nothing is working that all is well and the Lord knows what He is doing. I did laugh pretty hard though when on "the best day of my mission" every single appointment fell through including the one we were going to teach a couple of pastors and she covered her face like she was going to cry. I asked if she was ok and she just exclaimed some choice words--South Africans are a bit more free with their language. Too funny. We laugh together a lot. That's all you can do when you get empty houses where you were planning a perfect member present lesson.

My gratitude has also increased for my family. I guess distance makes the heart grow fonder but I also found myself on Sister Kuwali's floor again trying to communicate with this hilarious, nearly deaf lady and she told us that she was also one of 11 but 6 of them have died. I mostly take for granted that all 11 of us are still living but what a tremendous blessing that is. 

One absolute miracle this week just made my heart explode. We went to visit a member and when we found them not at home we recalled something we heard a couple of weeks ago that a less active lived just down the hill from them. As we went searching, the first house we knocked was the house of the less active. He wasn't home but we did find a girl called Jessie who is about my age and who had a baby 5 days before. She is somehow related to this less active but she told us that she had been taught before and she basically bore her testimony to us that she already knew the Church was true. Right then and there we committed her to a baptismal date and I could just feel this brand new baby calling out to her mother to accept the gospel. The Spirit was so sweet. Jessie didn't come to church yesterday but she also just gave birth so I see why. Hopefully next week she will come. 

I love how the Spirit often teaches you in the midst of teaching. We were teaching my favorite girl ever, Ireen Mtonga (member), about repentance and the Atonement and since she is in high school I shared about how I had used the Atonement to get over a boy once and how the Atonement is much greater than a stain remover. It is not just for sin. The Spirit taught me as words flowed out of my mouth that that was one tool I have been under utilizing during these tough few months. Yes, I have been praying for strength to get through and to be the best I can be but I have forgotten to pray specifically for the enabling power of the Atonement to get me through. It was a good reminder. I already feel more strength.

On Saturday we had a Relief Society activity to celebrate the RS birthday and it was just fun to see them all work together to cook a nice meal in celebration. Sister Dlamini and I taught about visiting teaching and then they did role plays to demonstrate. It was the cutest thing ever. As we all sang the closing hymn, "How Firm A Foundation" with all of our hearts I felt like angels were round about us. There were just over ten of us but I knew that much more were with us.

We saw Tapiwa again and it was a good lesson but the Spirit taught me so much more. After finishing up the restoration, I pulled out the Book of Mormon and handed it to her. She opened the cover and quietly, curiously flipped through the first couple of pages. God opened my eyes to the significance of that moment. It was like she was peaking into eternity--the light that could be there if she just accepted this miraculous book of scripture. I could just feel that generations, past and future, were vying for that moment of her opening the Book of Mormon for the first time. That moment has the potential to be an eternal turning point for thousands, both ancestors who have come before and desire saving ordinances and children still to come who desire to have the gospel from infancy. This calling of mine is much bigger than I can comprehend with physical eyes.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to give a talk in church. I was given the topic of "perfecting the saints", a topic that has been on my mind as I've studied for quite a while. I was only given a night's notice that I would speak so I didn't have a ton of time to prepare but when I got up there I sort of set aside my notes and spoke, praying the whole time for the Spirit to speak through me. I testified of the Atonement and how patient God is with our weaknesses. It was a tender moment to look out on a congregation I dearly love and to look into the eyes of so many I know personally. It's sort of an occupational hazard that as a missionary you get to know people's issues almost too well, despite your efforts to remain aloof and refer them to the branch president, but as I looked out at this congregation full of imperfect people I saw so much light and potential. I didn't see that man who committed that sin but I saw a son of God who's Father wants Him home. I love these people so much. Ndirande is so close to my heart.

I hope you have a wonderful week and determine to do something good for someone else.

Love forever,

Sister Proctor

Tapiwa-Gift from God

March 16, 2015

The sign that is outside the gate of one of our investigators. It's a good thing we still had the courage to knock

Reunited with Elder Motlhaping, my friend from the Kalambo Crew. Elder Mwangi, Elder Motlhaping and I serve

One of our investigators gave us a pineapple from Molanje (tallest mountain in Malawi) so I decided to plan with it by my side. 

Saying goodbye to Sister Chirwa. What a doll.

Baby Tapiwa!

Darling Family,

Heavenly Father is pretty cool. He knows me pretty well and He knows that I tend to feel small things poignantly and see the tiny, happy things. One poignant thing He gave me this week was to help my dear Agnes get ready to leave and see her set apart. It was a year ago that I got my mission call and now I am almost half way through my mission, so seeing this sweet girl get set apart as Sister Chirwa was a good reminder of how I felt when I got my call and when I was set apart myself. As I look ahead on the next months of my mission I want to be rededicated and consecrated. The time is going too fast. I only have so much time to give my full attention to this work. Hugging Agnes goodbye was really emotional. I am not sure when I'll ever see her again. She will be a fantastic missionary.

Another tiny moment that made me happy was one day as we took our long walk home. A guy from Zimbabwe drove by who is our down stairs neighbor and offered us a ride home but since we didn't have a woman with us we politely declined, looking a little daunted at the mile or so to go after a long day. But we were blessed for our obedience. As we continued walking we passed the boarding school and a girl about 16 years old excitedly ran up to us. In my tired mind I sort of just assumed that she just wanted to make a comment about me being an azungu (like so many a million times a day) but she said, "Are you missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?" When we said yes she told us that she was from South and that she was here for boarding school and hadn't been able to find the church. She told us how much she missed young women and how she had even done baptisms for the dead. As a missionary pushing everyday to help people catch the gospel fire it was so exciting to see that fire in someone so young and far away from her family. She has obviously felt her own conversion.

Remember that lady in our branch that was 10 months pregnant? She finally had her baby so we went and visited! They named their little boy Tapiwa, meaning a gift from God. It was just exciting to sit with these new parents, one a returned missionary, and think of the future of this tiny bundle. 

We also experienced a girl called Tapiwa this week that truly lived up to her name. Saturdays have sort of notoriously been our long days for the past couple of months. Our plans always fall through and we feel like a couple of kids wandering despite our best efforts. As we headed to do some finding in a specific area, the Spirit said, "Expect great things," and I suddenly had a surge of faith that we would find someone special. We knocked on the first gate and a girl about our age opened the door. She knew one of the RMs in Blantyre 1st branch, Christopher, and so she let us in with an open heart. Christopher is known for being just happy we let her know that his happiness came from the gospel. The Spirit led us to talk about prophets and it just connected with her. She accepted baptism and told us she can't wait for us to come back next Saturday. She is here in Blantyre for school but guess where she is from. My old area in Lilongwe. Thanks Heavenly Father. It's the little things.

Another time during the week we had a cancellation (can you tell we have them a lot haha) and before we could even pray for guidance we both clearly knew the person we needed to go see. There is this woman we contacted and we have never been able to teach. She is always busy (or "beezi" as they say it here) and her husband is barely at home. When we knocked on the door we found both husband and wife at home just sitting on their couch. It was as if they were waiting for us to come. The Spirit knows so much better than us.

I guess the greatest lesson I am learning lately is to have a faith and a good attitude no matter what. If I expect Saturdays to be rough every week then they probably will be. I need to expect great things no matter how many Saturdays in a row are long and hot and tiring. My faith in Christ is growing so much. I know that's what God wants right now, despite how much I want a progressing investigator.

Saturday night we called every person ever to try and visit on Sunday and we only found one appointment. Well, during church, that one appointment was canceled so we had an afternoon of zero plans. I decided to go into it with excitement and God truly guided us. The Lord my God is leading me by the hand. He is patient with my weaknesses. And He even gave His Son so that I could overcome them. Sunday was just full of the Spirit. I sat there during the sacrament thinking about the Savior and the Spirit just said, "He died to know you." Being known and seen is something I dearly value in life and it was just another tiny moment that was felt poignantly. 

In other news, they used to have little plastic sachets of alcohol sold for cheap everywhere (that even a child could buy them) but this week they were out lawed. Word of Wisdom, bho! Also, Sister Kuwali's (the half deaf lady that makes me laugh) husband is now the night guard at our flat and every evening when we come home he shakes our hands and says, "You are just coming in now? CONGRATULATIONS! You are doing a commendable job!" Ha! Those two are perfect for each other.

Love you all like crazy,

Sister Proctor

The Whole is Greater

March 9, 2015

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Darling Family,

Something that kept running through my head every day as I trudged up and down Ndirande was that "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts". The parts of my day or my week or my month or my mission may be long days, cancellations, and rejections, but the whole is so much greater than that. The whole is full of joy and satisfaction. I look back at where I started and where I've come and the whole is something I am deeply grateful for. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, no matter the challenges.

We did exchanges this week with the Chilimoni and Zingwangwa sisters and they were really great. I feel humbled that the Lord has called me to be an STL. Sometimes I still feel like I am new on a mission but I know I have been called for a reason.

I went with Sister Mntungwa to Chilimoni and since we were companions for a month and a half and we went to Chilimoni quite a few times during that period it was fun to be back in that place. The picture is of a recent convert called Aubrey in Chilimoni. He is a rasta man gone Mormon. Every time we go to his house we find him sitting on his couch listening to music. I'm convinced that is all he does with his time. Sister Mntungwa is training now so I think it was good to have time with someone she is comfortable with and just work hard.

I also brought Sister Browning to Ndirande and Heavenly Father blessed us with the perfect day. We pretty much have cancellations every day but that day we only had one and every lesson was super powerful. During an hour of finding we found a few really prime people and I just felt orchestrations in every step. My favorite lesson was with Ian, our eternal investigator (the one who has been investigating for over a year). Sometimes we want to drop him because he moves very slow and sometimes doesn't progress at all but he continues coming to church and we are now working on his smoking problem. I think that that is the only thing really holding him back. He knows the church is true. We talked about the Atonement and he was more solemn than I have ever seen him before. I wish you could meet this character. He is my Malawian grandpa (agogo amuna). I can just see him in the temple.

At MLC over skype this week we had a discussion on John 6, Christ's sermon on the Bread of Life. I was struck at how bold Christ was. Many turned away from Him but he courageously declared that it was only through His body and His blood that they could return to the Father. Sometimes it is hard to stand up for truth. Sometimes it is hard to have the courage to tell a sister that she needs to improve in some way. Sometimes it's hard to tell investigators that our ultimate goal for them is baptism. But boldly declaring truth is how you sift the wheat from the tares. The twelve stayed behind with Christ even when the multitude dispersed. He asked, "Will ye also go away?" I always want to stand for truth. I will never go away from Christ.

Something I learned in personal study this week is what I should hope for. In Moroni 7 it outlines exactly what we should hope for. We are not invited to hope for a certain event to happen or a certain person to come through or a certain dream to happen but we are asked to have hope in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. What should I really be pleading for in my prayers? Not for my will to be granted but for the will of the Father to be done. His will is so much more glorious than my dreams could ever fabricate. The path He will lead us on if we trust Him is a thousand times more lush than one we could think up in our heads. My hopes and my prayers have changes as a result.

On Saturday we had another day of wandering in the wilderness. No matter how many times we prayed or how many houses we tried there was just no one to teach. As I continue forward in my mission I think I am realizing that this experience is more for me than for anyone else. That may sound selfish and I hope you don't get me wrong. I am here to serve the Lord and to serve these wonderful Malawians. But if it were all about other people then we would have line ups of people to teach and baptize. God has a greater purpose than baptizing a whole stake at the hand of little me. His purpose in all of this is shaping me. I am serving 100% for the Lord and 100% for myself.

Sunday was just the happiest. We had 5 investigators at church! You have no idea how many weeks it has been of 0-2. I sit at the front to play the keyboard and when I looked over and saw Tabitha Chimwanga and her son walk in tiny tears filled my eyes. The whole Chimwanga family couldn't come but at least they took that step of faith. We have taught them for 2 months and finally they took that step. Oh, I was just elated. After church we taught Mercy, that woman that was praying when we knocked on the door and she told us that she wants to be baptized. We found a member's house we have been looking for for weeks. And we had our last lesson with Agnes before she heads out to London on Wednesday to become Sister Chirwa. I love Agnes so much. She has become a sister to me. I am going to miss her so much.

Finding that member's house was the funniest thing ever. They are called the Kuwalis and they recently moved from Luwande (a group far away) to Blantyre. The wife is pretty hard of hearing so she talks really loud but is super adorable and charming. She wrote some vague directions down on a piece of paper and told us that we should just ask around to find their home because they are well known. Having no addresses can be a problem sometimes. We got to where the paper directed us and then began asking everyone we could if they knew the Kuwalis. The language barrier was cartoonish. People kept leading us to different houses and no one actually knew who we were talking about. Finally a woman knew them and took us to their tiny, crumbling house. Sister Kuwali was so excited to see us. She is very child-like. When we sat down on her floor and began to talk we kept asking her questions and she would answer something completely different. "Sister Kuwali, when were you baptized?" "Oh, I have one daughter and she stays in Zomba." She understands English well it's just the hearing issue. I sat there laughing with this Malawian woman who couldn't understand anything I said and it hit me again: I am a sister missionary in MALAWI. That's pretty cool. Of all the places in the world I am sitting on the floor of a tiny house in Blantyre with a half deaf woman talking about Jesus Christ. I am a blessed child.

Well, another happy thing is that almost everyone I talk to thinks I am fluent in Chichewa which is a vast overstatement but it's flattering. I know enough to get myself around and these people are impressed. "You've only been here 8 months??" Ha. I love these people.

Have a joyous week. Serve someone. It will make you happy!

Love,

Sister Proctor